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Tyche's Notes
  Previous 10
September 2016  

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Fest Anxieties  
09:21pm 24/09/2016
Whelp. I've gone and done it. I've signed up for another fest even though I swore I'd quit doing that after I had to drop out of the last two I tried. The thinking about it is driving me round the twist. I'm not sure what it is about fests--they are supposed to be only fun, but they always hype me into an anxious, competetive overdrive. Each time I am determined to present a well thought out, interesting fic that satisfies on more than just one level/dimension. I am determined to make my prompter/giftee ridiculously happy, and spend half the fest wringing my hands and worrying that I won't succeed. I get so obsessive that I have friends who refuse to talk to me during fest months.

When it's finally over and turned in, I'm usually extremely pleased and relieved...until it posts. Then I anxiously read the comments and worry about hidden meanings or why THIS person commented THAT whilst THAT person didn't comment at all but did on other people's fics. I'm never so insane about comments or reviews when I'm just writing normal fanfiction. I think it's because I know the people here better, and know that they are exceptional writers, and hold their opinion with higher esteem than I do the random reviewer on AO3 or FFN.

It's honestly exhausting, and I have no idea why I do it to myself. Is it only me, or do other fest-goers have similar feelings of anxiety about how their work is received?

*stares at the screen for several moments, watching the curser blink*

I think I keep pushing myself into these things because after the unavoidable freak out happens, and the fic is finished, I'm genuinely proud of what I've done. Look at me! I've completed a fic, which is not something I'm especially good at. I have dozens of half finished fics in "Tyche's Bunny Pound." Not only is it finished, but it's generally something I feel like I can be proud of. Getting Past Broken and Happily Ever After the Fact both came out of fests/exchanges. I come away learning something.

And even though I know that my fics were not my giftee's favourites in the fest (which really, considering how many incredible, talanted writers and artists sign up, is entirely understandable), I am proud of them. And hope springs eternal that one day fests will be "easy" for me. Or at least won't induce panic attacks.

We get our prompts tomorrow. So at least the worry about not knowing what to write will fade as I formulate a plot. I can instead start my insane process of outlining, reading some of their works (if I haven't already) reading some of their favourite fics (if I haven't already) and hyperventalating about writing for THAT AMAZING writer/artist. *sigh* Wish me luck, friends!
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Severus, Redux: Chapter 27  
09:12am 17/09/2016
A couple notes before we begin: A helpful anonymous reviewer pointed out after the last chapter that as of this time, Severus is still three weeks (twenty days to be exact) short of the wizarding age of majority of seventeen, and yet is engaging in sexual acts. This is correct, and while some may disapprove, it is not illegal, as the age of consent in the UK (and many other nations/states/provinces) is sixteen. As I have already included graphic sex in the warnings for this story (see above), I did not think further warning was required. For those of you who disagree, here is your warning: more sex to follow, he is still sixteen for twenty more days.

Which brings us to the note number two. In preparation for writing this and the last chapter, I polled several people (both male and female) about their own first experiences. The result that came back was clear in only one way: everyone is different. Everyone had different levels of apprehension, enjoyment and/or pain. I ask that you please bear this in mind, and do not read this chapter with the expectation that it will perfectly match your personal experience.

Chapter Twenty-Seven:(In which there is conversation and the loss of virginity.)

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Severus, Redux: Chapter 26  
06:39pm 19/08/2016
(In which Severus makes contacts, then a confession and then liberties are taken upon his person)
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Severus, Redux: Chapter 25  
03:53pm 04/06/2016
(In which futures are discussed and a party attended)
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Month From Hell  
04:16pm 24/04/2016
It Started With Braxon-Hicks...Collapse )

This Was Followed By Rectal DiscomfortCollapse )

Then Came the Spring ColdCollapse )

ConjunctivitisCollapse )

TL;DRCollapse )
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Severus, Redux: Chapter 24  
07:12am 11/01/2016
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, 09 November 1996, 10:12 AM
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My Ongoing Reproductive System Drama  
11:44am 05/12/2015
So since about Christmas last year, I've been actively trying to get pregnant again. Mr. Song has been falling into the camp of not actively trying (no keeping track of days or asking every month if I've gotten my period) but not objecting to my trying.

In August, after one particularly enjoyable round of my actively trying, I counted days in my head, and thought, "Huh...this might actually be it." A few minutes later, Mr. Song said, "I have a weird feeling I just impregnated you."

We turned out to be prophetic, because two weeks later I was able to confirm that I was, in fact, barely pregnant. So, first order of business. Find a decent OB/Gyn here in South King County. I called about twelve different offices within a thirty minute drive of me and after several days of frustration whittled down my answer based on everything from insurance and billing policies to the Doctor's qualifications to the delivering hospital's accomodations and NICU availabilities to how irritated the resceptionist sounded with me after my game of 20 questions on the phone. Finally decided on a CHI Fransiscan doctor.

My DoctorCollapse )

The Trouble BeginsCollapse )

Coloscopy and Fall OutCollapse )

My ResultsCollapse )

God shows his hand in mysterious ways sometimes. I'm greatful He still cares and arranges for the right people to enter my life at the right time (in this case, my unborn child and new OB/GYN) despite how wayword and stubborn I can be as a spiritual daughter. I'm set to have my anatomy ultrasound (that's the one where you find out the sex of your baby) on Christmas Eve. I can't help but feel like it's another indirect message. All will be well, I have a beautiful and special gift for you this year. Merry Christmas, Tyche.

Indeed. Merry Christmas to all of you, as well.
tags: real life
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Severus, Redux: Chapter Twenty Three  
07:57am 19/09/2015
(In which Severus snoops where he shouldn't.)

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Severus, Redux: Chapter Twenty-Two  
12:03pm 28/06/2015
(In which Atreus has enlightening conversations)
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It's so sad...  
11:03am 23/06/2015
This morning, driving to work, I came to a stoplight behind another car. I had been behind this car for a while, and while we were going a bit fast (less then ten mph over), neither of us had done anything else wrong or even bad road manners that I was aware of. So it rather surprised me to see the car in the lane next to us stop abreast of Acura-in-Front-of-Me with his middle finger very firmly extended in Acura's direction.

He glanced behind him (his truck had ended up sort of between ours in the other lane, and locked eyes with me. I gave him a look that was a cross between "I'm confused" and that same mild disapproving look I give my daughter when I catch her with her fingers in her nose.

Truck-Guy yelled loudly enough to be heard through both of our rolled up windows, "Yeah, fuck you, too, Bitch!"

I gave a slightly incredulous shrug. His response?

"Yeah, I know you don't care. You're ugly, and American!"

Uhhhhhhh, okay? At this point it was difficult not to laugh. Because first of all, you're wrong, Truck Guy. On a few levels. I am a kind and generous person that has never once flipped off another driver, even when they deserved it. I gave my last $2.00 to a guy for gas this morning who ran out right in front of my eyes and offered to take him to the gas station, even though I am now late for work. Of the two of us, I am not the one behaving ugly.

Second of all, why would you think calling me ugly is a valid response to me not understanding your bad mood? Am I supposed to be hurt or upset that a rude stranger doesn't find me attractive? Am I supposed to cry? Sorry (not sorry), but no dice. I'm stronger than the puppies you're used to kicking, I'm afraid. Plus, I have a very loving, wonderful husband who makes no secret of the fact that HE finds me beautiful. His penis is really the only one that I care about attracting.

Third of all, yes, I am an American. I'm not positve what that has to do with your bad mood, but I'm pretty sure whatever it is, you can't point fingers. I'm pretty sure you are also an American. Yeah, don't think I don't recognize your PNW Hill accent. Also, you have WA state plates. It is possible you are Canadian, but really, that only means you're America's kissing cousin.

I'm sorry you are having a bad morning. I'm even more sorry that as a man in your middle years you have yet to learn how to control your temper and speak to other human beings politely. You must be a very unhappy person in general.
tags: general, rant
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